Tedd Forgot to Do Something

So like I said in the last post, EGS:NP is a thing I’ve been neglecting in this readthrough. It seems to be a series of short vignettes running in parallel to the main story. The NP stands for ‘NewsPaper’.

It started on 24/2/2004, which corresponds to the middle of the Painted Black arc in the main comic. I guess while the main comic was dropping the dramatic revelations and long fight scenes, Dan Shive launched this spinoff to go back to the comic’s slice-of-life/silly gender transformations side.

The first story concerns Tedd accidentally going to school having transformed into a normatively-female body.

Tedd apparently likes to transform before showering, which the comic implies is for like, masturbation or something, but I’m going to choose to interpret as also being about dysphoria.

Anyway Tedd and Elliot meet up with Sarah and Susan, and Susan basically accuses Tedd of autogynophila.

A cropped conversation between Susan and Tedd. Susan criticises Tedd for not transforming to 'learn', 'better himself', or 'study how society treats people', but for 'perverse pleasure'. Tedd happily accepts the accusation.

It’s basically a conversation between a TWEF and a trans woman but written by someone who has never been part of these conversations and still thinks of Tedd as a man. The accusation of ‘autogynophilia’ is a transmedicalist bugbear that will not fucking die. It draws a line between ‘legitimate’ trans women (basically straight trans women who can live with traditional gender roles and show no sign of ever experiencing sexual pleasure) and ‘autogynephiles’, who are transitioning only for ~perverse sexual reasons~. (Of course, no trans woman is ever actually considered legitimate, that legitimacy is something that can be taken away at any time.)

It’s a very nasty ideological weapon: the grounds for an accusation of autogynephilia are all things that cis women do routinely, but for trans women, it can be grounds for denying medical treatment and a framing to justify harassment by TWE|Fs and the like.

So yeah like. Susan’s not just being a generic asshole here: there is a really nasty history behind her words that I can only assume Dan Shive was not consciously aware of at the time he wrote this comic.

Grace the Goddess

In this comic, Grace is back to playing Black and White, an early ‘god game’ by Peter Molyneux where you have a giant animal. She played this before much earlier in the comic.

A giant floating hand grabbing you and dropping you off at a place where you’d have to work forever is a scary concept, but at least you wouldn’t have to look for work.

says Dan Shive in a commentary. capitalism sure is wild.

Tedd patched their game so they could make most of their villagers into women (in the game’s representation), which they describe as a ‘transgender rampage’. (Judging by some reactions to the new XCOM, this is definitely something trans women actually do.)

anyway the rest of it is a meh dream sequence.

Blank Check for Weirdness

was probably an april fools comic where the characterisations are different. Tedd is now a probaly-cis girl called Tess. Susan is a happy cheerleader. Sarah is a goth. Elliot is the same as ever. They do a quick Scooby Doo parody.

Apparently the alternate characters got some kind of following in the forums. So it’s now been given a designation ‘AF04′ and has joined the various alternate universes already encountered.

Magic Comic Shop

Justin’s surname is apparently Tolkiberry. And Nanase’s is Kitsune, because I’m not sure if Dan Shive had ever actually met a Japanese person in his life.

Nanase is reading some kind of lesbian fantasy novel that sounds quite fun in a very cheesy way! So I guess she’s feeling a bit more happy about the idea of being a lesbian, high-five Nanase :) She keeps it secret from Justin though.

Nanase goes into fairy-doll mode as a sales ploy. Then Ellen shows up. There is a confusing mention of an ‘Elaine’. The extended joke about how pathetic and awful heterosexual men are continues.

Anyway in return for helping him with sales, Justin is strongarmed into buying both Ellen and Nanase dinner.

Not a Date at the Mall

So Justin takes them to the mall. I guess he realises this might be an opportunity to get Ellen and Nanase together, so he scoots off to get the food so they can talk, with about as much subtlety as Annie.

Nanase doesn’t catch on, but is enjoying holding onto Ellen’s arm. Meanwhile, Justin bumps into Melissa, the homophobic girl who had one date with him before he came out as gay, and now stalks him. Oh dear.

Justin tells her to fuck off in no uncertain terms. Melissa turns out to have a friend with her: a mysterious person called Noah, with a think fringe over one eye.

Nanase gets gay feels from hanging about with Ellen. Ellen apparently misses how strongly she’s blushing, and doesn’t realise why she’s eating slowly.

Ellen gets a DVD and then they go home. Nanase is on the edge of telling Ellen how she’s feeling, but doesn’t manage to say so before Ellen gets out the car.

Nanase can’t sleep, and resumes reading the novel that night.


Now I have this context, I realise the December comic that referred to EGS:NP actually took place before these two stories. Still, now we have context for this strip: the book Nanase is embarassed about is the lesbian fantasy novel (I wish that was more of a thing!) and Ellen does indeed stop by at the comic book shop. Still, in EGS:NP we’re still in June, so let’s continue on this side until December’s comics.


Non-Gratuitous Nudity

Susan shows up at an art store looking for Sarah. She finds her looking for a book of nudes for art reference, which Susan is apparently very confused by (have you really never heard of life drawing, Susan?)

Susan jokingly suggests that Sarah get some adult magazines instead. Sarah thinks that’s a good idea, actually. Um, like… I don’t think porn is known for its naturalistic, everyday poses?

Susan comes up with some better suggestions: a mirror, and one of those posable artists’ dummies. Those are both useful, but they wouldn’t really give Sarah much reference for muscles?

The final joke concerns Tedd creeping on their female friends.

Goonmanji

The first strip featuring Tedd breaking the fourth wall to mark this storyline as explicitly non-canon. To underline this, they turn into a catgirl.

Tedd ends up visiting a strange magical shop at the mall. There, they learn of some transformation-inducing drinks: ‘shrink soda’, ‘femme cola’, and ‘furry juice’.

Cropped sequence where Tedd buys 'an evil cursed game that reshapes reality as you play'.

um.

is Tedd about to play SBurb?

Also that ‘shop monster’ is way more detailed and shaded than anything we’ve seen in the comic so far???

It’s actually (as the title suggests) a parody of Jumanji. Naturally it involves transformations.

there’s some pretty gross creepiness where a card causes ‘all the women in the room’ to ‘become overwhelmingly attractive to one another’ and cuddle indefinitely. seriously. straight up ‘aliens made them do it’ with Tedd gleefully celebrating as their friends are magically compelled to behave in a sexualised way.

Then bodyswapping happens. Tedd and Elliot are compelled to continue cuddling each other in Grace and Sarah’s bodies. But Sarah-in-Tedd’s-body kisses Grace-in-Elliot’s-body and because the gods are apparently the grossest rapiest straight men around they’re too repulsed by two ‘men’ kissing to maintain the spell.

…………

yeah anyway more transformations happen. the game tries to upset sarah as revenge and causes her to grow like, extra arms and stuff. so the game ends and the transformations but not the body-switches are undone.

they decide to stick with it rather than play the game again to reverse it.

Respect

so a comic about misogyny and patriarchy featuring Amanda, the joke character assistant to the external-to-the-story Dr. Germahn.

so Germahn’s niece is nasty to her and humiliate her and Dr. Germahn deceives her into drinking some ‘youth formula’ that makes her younger.

we meet her roommate, the law student Lisa, who’s introduction strip shows that that she gay/bi and hits on Amanda when she asks for help. yeah :/  but Lisa goes on to give her some

Amanda demands respect from her fellow workers and they claim to respect her while still treating her pretty shit. she goes back to Lisa.

so yeah idk where this is gonna go but it does not look good :/

Dan in the MUD

ok i wasn’t paying attention to the year in the date so we’ve actually gone a long way past 2004 now.

Anyway it’s a parody of MUDs (I guess they were more popular back in 2004 probably). Dan Shive writes a forced-fem story for his self-insert. And he has the self-insert get sexually assaulted (a spell that forces a kiss) and later suffer off-screen clothing damage and get creeped on over it. idek


ok the next comic concerns a fake convention in 2006 so let’s call it quits on EGS:NP until we reach 2006 in the main comic.